I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize