My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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