PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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