dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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