HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize