break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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