You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
