he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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