just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
