so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
