Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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