I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
