It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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