just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Less talking, more tequila
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
