The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
