i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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