youre lurking in front of me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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