I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
