Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
