Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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