So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
