Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
