why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize