I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
