Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
