There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
