There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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