What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
