i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
