how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
