You're so nebulous sometimes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize