And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
