Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize