When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
