last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
