In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
