Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
