Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize