i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
