My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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