Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
