shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
