if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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