I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
