I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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