The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
