it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
