THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
