She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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