I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
