how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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