quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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