I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
