nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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