if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
