Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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