Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
