before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
