Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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