So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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