Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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