okay pat passed out under dana's car
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
