That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
