found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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