i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
