yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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