God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
