In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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