I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
