I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
