I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize