i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize